The Great Wide Somewhere

Hello everyone! I am, somewhat resignedly, writing a blog about my journey to Singapore for a semester. I don't imagine anyone other than my friends and family will be reading this, but just in case, here's what you missed so far:

I, a twentysomething American girl, am going to study abroad in Singapore from January to May of 2011, my final semester of law school. I am leaving behind my adoring family, a job search that I really ought to be paying more attention to in this bleak economy, and a boyfriend whom I will miss oh so terribly.

Yet, I am definitely going! My two large suitcases are packed and sitting by the door. I'm not sure if I have enough stuff, but I can't fit anything else in the bags. I am so neurotic about packing. It makes me existential, like, what does one really need to live? I'm always afraid that I have taken too many shirts and not enough pants, or that my wardrobe is culturally inappropriate, and things like that. I've taken a few nostalgic things to remind me of home, like stuffed animals and photos, but the usual clutter that surrounds my existence has been necessarily eliminated. It remains to be seen whether that will be a positive or a negative thing.

My flight leaves 6am New Year's Eve, so I have to make my New Year's resolution's early. #1-I want to make the absolute most of this experience. My manta is often "why?" and I'd like for it to become "why not?" I'm generally a very cautious and sensible person, and my fondest wish is for someone to say, just once, "oh, that Laura, she's wild! She'll try anything once." (note: those who know me understand that this is a very scaled-down wildness, more like trying exotic fruits and less like going skydiving...although I have gone skydiving, so perhaps I am wilder than I thought!) What I want to do is have no regrets-be safe, of course, but NOT spend many nights alone watching Glee on my laptop when my cohorts are having fun.Which leads me to my #2 resolution-make friends. I have felt, at different times of my life, like there were two kinds of people, normal people and my people. I am worried that the entire student body of NUS will be populated with normal people who like to drink, hook up, and party and that they will find me hopelessly uncool. (Come to think of it, this sounds a bit absurd. It's not as if the rest of the world is the cast of Jersey Shore.)  I want to travel A LOT throughout SE Asia and I don't want to do it alone. I hope I make tons of friends, or at least travelling companions. 

As I stare out at the snow in Boston, it all feels a bit surreal. Yesterday I was at Disneyworld watching the Beauty and the Beast musical (a 30 min. condensed version of the movie). As Belle ran out to the front of the house, arms outstretched, while the music swelled behind her, I started to cry. She was asking for an "adventure in the great wide somewhere," a desire that she planted in my head at the tender age of five. All my life, I have sought such a thing. I wondered, is this it? I am just so worried that I will study too much or brood too much and miss out on my big adventure. There was a time when I thought I'd move to Africa and cure AIDS and things like that, but now, my heart is calling me to stay in the States with my love. Some of the things I have dreamed of will never come true. This is a necessary but painful part of growing up. How, despite impending adulthood and burgeoning responsibilities and ties, does one leave room in their life for adventure? I hope that this trip to Singapore will be one of many adventures I have left in me. 

Well, must run. Meeting the boyfriend for lunch, so I must look presentable and bundle up for the frozen wasteland of Boston city streets. Love to all!